The problem with mocking uneducated backwoods hillbillies

ImageThe other day I used a double negative. I was devastated and embarrassed and almost in tears. You may say, “But, Kiki, it is just one double negative, I am sure no one noticed.” But someone did notice. Me.

This is how the incident happened. I was on a date and my date asked me, “So what are you doing tomorrow?” (This was grammatically correct, an important quality in a date) and my response was… “I am not doing nothing.”

ImageYes, you heard that correctly. I said, “I am not doing nothing.” I don’t know why I said it like that. Maybe I got distracted mid-sentence and forgot what I had said? Maybe it is because I am in Texas now and that is things are done here, y’all! All I know is as soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth I gasped and covered my mouth with both hands and attempted to push them back in so I could have a do over. I looked over at my date in horror and he just laughed. He laughed! I was devastated and embarrassed and he thought it was cute.

Image

sharpwriter.deviantart.com/

Maybe it is all the pink I am wearing. Maybe it is because I am letting dates pay for things and not insisting I am a feminist and I must pay for it all. Maybe it is all the cute cowboy drawls around me discombobulating my senses. All I know is that all thoseĀ times I have mocked uneducated backwoods hillbillies who abused the convoluted grammar Americans have worked so hard to make confusing and their own, is coming back to bite me in the ass.

Fucking karma.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s